Friday, July 17, 2009

Lies, Nerf Guns and Tears... Oh my...

Sometimes parenting really sucks. :o(

We've been having a lot of talks about lying and telling the truth around here lately, especially with a certain kiddos. It is very frustrating for me as lying is at the top of my parenting pet peeve list. I KNOW there is a basis for these lies, and most of the time I understand that. More than the majority of the time, it is simply a survival instinct - I don't want to be in trouble, so I'll throw someone else under the bus. Or simply deny deny deny. But sometimes it is about stupid little things too. Those almost bother me more than the big stuff because I often don't catch it.

Which makes me wonder what else I'm not catching...?

Today we had a bit of a flip for the main culprit in our house. There was a dispute over nerf [arrows? bullets?] for their nerf guns. Both children were adamant. I wasn't going to try and guess so I took the guns away for the time being. The result? One kid shrugged and watched TV. The other is in her bed sobbing. :o(

Now what to do? It's fairly obvious which child was probably lying (although no guaranties). However, this also seems like a prime opportunity to showcase why lying is so hard on a family (i.e. how is mom supposed to trust you when you constantly tell me how you are "so serious" regardless of whether you are telling the truth).

It breaks my heart to hear the crying. I feel like I'm failing. How does this show support and unconditional love? Yet, how else can I communicate the confusion, hurtfulness and danger of lying? It's not a fair choice.

[While typing this post, said child came downstairs, sad as can be. We hugged and now all the kids are playing outside together. I know this wasn't the last of the issue, but we'll just have to muddle our way through this. I wish there was a REAL parenting manual. Or maybe a "restart" button.]

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