Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Holding my breath...

As I type, it is 10:23 a.m. (EST). That makes it 6:23 p.m. in Addis. And 7:23 a.m. (PST) in Washington.

Court must be finished. Is she legally ours? I don't know. Our adoption agency is still sleeping over on the Pacific coast! I know better than to expect news before noon. Sometimes it takes much longer. We were very fortunate on Friday - 12:01 p.m. we got a call with the news we'd been delayed again - but a only a short delay (whew). How long will we wait today? How long for these somersaults in my stomach to settle down?

It's been a crazy week or so. Last week I was SO busy at work I hardly had time to think about *S* (how horrible is that?) :( It helped me not to dwell on the wait though, so I suppose I should be thankful. Today, my to-do list isn't as daunting (although there are some items I just cannot ignore any longer!). So I need to get to work, but having such a hard time doing so!

Will she be in my arms in 5 weeks? Is it safe to *really* get her place in the room ready - clothes in drawers, bedding, all the little details. Last time, we had some much of the "little stuff" done for so long that it just made me sad - it was a glaring reminder each day that we had a gaping hole in our family and we just kept waiting to fill it (actually 2 holes - one Abi-sized, one Hana-sized). This time, I think I protected myself more - we've put off certain things. I don't want to walk into Grace and Hana's room each morning and see an undisturbed bed where *S*'s indent should be. I didn't want to look at a dresser that didn't need to be opened.

So, although she's never far from our thoughts, I haven't let her "move in" just yet.

Now, there is a glaring downside to this - when we do pass court (hopefully today!) we'll have plenty to do! :) But then I've got adrenaline on my side right?

Sorry... just babbling this morning. Getting anxious!

1 comment:

Rachael said...

Thinking of you and S and sending good thoughts your way.