Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Hope Can Be an Annoying Thing

So, as previously mentioned, we won't be passing court today.

I requested that our agency call us anyways so we get the bad news officially and (hopefully!) more clarification on when we might actually have a chance of passing/travel. No call yet, but still very early for that.

I'm so annoyed at myself. Although I know for sure this time that we won't be passing (which is easier than not knowing) I can still feel that little beat of hope in my chest. Grrr! Why? I think I am really just hoping we'll have news that this might be cleared up in a week or two (rather than a month or two).

But I've learned to hate hope! How sad is that??? Because every time that it is there, it hurts that much more when things don't work out. Depressing isn't it?

I guess it all goes back to "Lowered Expectations" (Amanda, I know your know the voice for that one!)

Well, here's hoping (but not really) for good news. ;)

3 comments:

elizabeth said...

Cat, I was so sad to read Wednesday's update this evening.

A friend who had some very painful events in her family's domestic adoption journey shared this with me when we were experiencing our own difficulties:

"Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a
tree of life." Proverbs 13:12

I know that nothing but a passed court date and embassy appointment is really going make a difference but I hope this verse will help in the meantime.

- Elizabeth Lynn

Wendy said...

Keep your eye on the "prize" - you will get your babies home and it will all be worthwhile.

Diane said...

I see and hear many blessings in your life to help hold you in this time of "hopelessness". Please rest in the Lord and allow your friends and family to carry your hope for you! May you feel our love always! love mom