Thursday, January 3, 2008

Expectations

"Life is so constructed that an event does not, cannot,
will not, match the expectation."
Charlotte Bronte

I just wanted to say thank you everyone for your well-wishes and support during this difficult waiting time. Without getting too much into it, it seems that there was some miscommunication and our case was not actually heard at all on 12/27 or 1/1. So the 21st of January will be our third court date (although it's a bit more complicated than that). Which still TOTALLY SUCKS since it is a full 2 months after our first court date, which was much longer in being assigned than we'd hoped.

I think a lot of my anger, hurt, frustration, sadness, etc is because of what my expectations were. I'm not willing to say that I had unrealistic expectations - Mark and I tried to be conservative based on recent history of other cases in similar situations and what we were being told at the time by our agency. The problem is that there is just so much that can ... well, change. The best laid plans of mice and men right? So even though you try and set up conservative expectations and estimates, there is just no telling what might happen - international adoption is an unpredicable beast.

Were some of these delays preventable? I think most definately. But a more important question is - regardless of the delays, are things still being conducted ethically and is the focus still on our kids, trying to get them home as soon as possible? As long as I can answer yes to that question, I can keep my sanity.

Perhaps after all this we have at least learned to expect nothing - there are no guaranties and you are kidding yourself if you think otherwise (and if an agency or anyone else starts making promises, you better run in the other direction).

I can just hope and pray that it will all work out when the time is "right". And hope and pray that the "right" time is very, very soon. Because my faith is starting to wear thin. =(

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