Monday, December 24, 2007

No Christmas Miracle This Year

We were hoping for a miracle today. We were hoping someone from our agency would be able to get the missing letter from MOLSA.

I guess it could've happened. But I doubt it. Either way, we didn't hear a word. Nothing positive, nothing negative. Our agency rep in ET never called the US. So we waited ... but nothing.

It was a hard day. I had NO idea how hard it would be to be apart from the kids during the holidays. Oh, you can 'imagine' and know that it would suck. But the actual feeling is so much worse. I assumed that it would've been easier if we 'knew' the kids were ours and when we could get them. And it probably would help.

Right now, we can't think of anything but them. Tonight in church, I just got really emotional. I started crying at the end and it was hard to hold it together. I hate that I'm distracted and not much fun this year. The girls are so excited, especially Grace. But the holiday just doesn't have the same spark this year.

Grace didn't want to sleep alone tonight. She's sleeping in Abi's bed in he and Ally's room. And it just makes me mad. He's supposed to be there. Hana is supposed to be keeping Grace company. This wasn't supposed to be this way. When we accepted Abi's referral over six months ago, I never dreamed that he wouldn't be home by Christmas - let alone that we wouldn't even know when we'd be traveling. It isn't fair. It just isn't fair.

1 comment:

Leslie said...

I'm so sorry, Cat. It really isn't fair. My thoughts and prayers are with you guys.