Monday, December 3, 2007

Every Emotion Under the Sun

It has been a rough couple of days.

To be perfectly honest, I did not realize how much I was banking on passing our first court date. At some point in the last 2 weeks my mind set completely changed and I had gotten very set on traveling at the end of December. That was a mistake. In international adoption, so much is left to chance, so many things can go wrong to delay your progress. And we know once we decided to adopt Hana that we were doubling the possibility of failure.

Once we heard on Saturday that we didn't pass, I had a good cry. A seriously hard cry. I think I had so much pent up inside just waiting for news that when it came back negative it just had to come out. Next, I became very angry. As it was described to us, the error that caused us not to pass seemed very preventable. In all fairness, I have not yet been able to talk to my agency to confirm this. I have since calmed down quite a bit. Although I'd like to have a better handle on what happened, what didn't, what needs to be fixed, etc - well, it is what it is. We didn't pass, and in 3 weeks (2 weeks and 4 days!) we have another chance. In the grand scheme of things, this is just a blip.

but it is so hard when you are in the thick of it. I feel incredible peace in one respect though - I know my kids are very well taken care of. I received a new photo of Abi this weekend - he is so so cute but looking so old! But, most importantly, he looks happy and healthy.

So, regardless of this rollercoaster and my up-and-down emotions, I know that my kids are okay. I'll have them home [relatively] soon. And we'll be a family.


chou-chou said...

Oh, I'm so sorry to hear you didn't make it through. I have heard that many families have been not making it through because MOWA didn't get all the right paperwork submitted to the court in time. I bet that's what happened to you.

I'll keep my fingers and toes crossed for you.

Wendy P said...

So sorry that you didn't make it the first time through. Ugh. In the grand scheme of life it's seems like such a minor thing to have a form or two missing or filled out wrong. Hopefully 12/21 will bring you a fantastic (and a bit early!) Christmas present and all will work out that time through. You're in all our thoughts and praywers.

friedlings said...

Cat- I'm glad you're in a healthy place about the bump in your road to a big, happy family.

Delays suck, but I'd SO rather hear the delay was a caused by a minor paperwork error that can be fixed next time than something mysterious and complex. Right?!

I'm glad you *know* what caused the delay. I'm glad it's totally fixable.

I'm getting ready to cheer and shout for your good news in just a matter of days.

A good cry is magical, isn't it?! : )

Frankly, I'm glad not to be trekking there over Christmas. I can't imagine leaving my kids all day, every day with some poor unsuspecting loved one! Best they're in school during the day... that's what I told myself earlier today.

Congratulations on finding your peace with things. You're a class act!

Psyched to soon be as enthiastic of your good news as you were for mine. Thank you.

Leslie said...

I know it is so hard. I hope that this busy time of year will be a bit of a distraction for the next couple weeks. I am so grateful for the friendship that has developed over these last few months and I can't wait for our kids to be home and talking with each other and someday even going to camp together!!