Monday, July 30, 2007

Hard Day...

You know, it's funny. Adoption is a lot more like pregnancy than I expected. I was so excited not to have to deal with the hormones this time around, but no such luck... There just must be something about adding to your family that triggers these emotions. Some days are harder than others.

I should not complain too much - we have been so lucky and, for us, this process has been mostly ups! We were matched with our son much sooner than expected and we've already taken him into our hearts more deeply than I expected this soon. Sometimes I wonder, how can you love someone so much that you haven't even met? But I loved Grace and Ally before they were born, so I don't know why I would expect Abenezer to be any different.

Yesterday was a hard day for me though. I heard the great news about two families from our agency bringing home their beautiful children (to see a video about the Tweitmeyers, who added a lovely sibling group of 3 to their great family, click here). We also heard about a family that was just a few weeks ahead of us in the process whose court date is Wednesday and they plan to travel in September to get their son (he's only a little older than Abenezer). All such great news! We are so happy for them!

And yet, it was hard. I was so jealous for those families that had their babies home. And so frustrated that this family who was only 3 weeks ahead of us in getting their paperwork in would likely have their son home 3 months before we can. Who was I angry with? No one in particular. It's just how the cards fall. But it just makes me sad to know that Abenezer must wait that much longer...

Making it harder is the fact that I don't think Abenezer knows he has a family yet. We sent our welcome bag to our agency, but the bags can only be taken to Ethiopia when someone from our agency travels there. I think we happened to fall in a bit of a dry spell, or may have just missed a traveler or something... so we have no idea when it will go... But I'm just so anxious for him to know!

Sorry to be such a downer today. I guess it is good to share that this whole process isn't excitement and joy. And I knew that going in! I actually have expected there to be more "downs" and stress overall.

I just don't think you can ever truly prepare for the feeling when someone you love is literally a half a world away - and you can't do anything about it...